I thought things over in my head; things like, "After all, she is days away from turning twelve. I have to let her go sometime. I don't want to hold her back, but what if something happens to her, but what if she doesn't get there...but, but, but". Anita said, "I know you love me and don't want anything to happen to me, but I'm going to be fine, Mom". Deep down inside, I knew she was right, but I just kept fighting it. I finally gave in, with a heavy heart, "Fine...you can go.".
I called Nuno to see what his thoughts were. He agreed with Anita and said I was doing the right thing. So, I let her go...
It was time. I went to the door. Anita gave me a hug and kiss. She said, `Have a great day, Mom. I love you. I`m going to be fine, don`t worry." I said, "Okay, I love you too." and stood there in disbelief. She walked out the door, down the steps, across the driveway and onto the sidewalk. I closed the door slowly and peeked at her through the crack. Tears rushed down my hot cheeks as I saw my girl walking quickly and confidently with a spring in her step; her hair bouncing from side-to-side.
I swung the door wide open; hoping she would turn around to look at me, possibly run back and say okay, Mom, maybe you should take me to school, but she never did. I watched her from the door until she disappeared from view, with a heavy heart. Memories came rushing back to me, of days when Anita wanted me to wait with her at the school until the last possible second before the bell rang. She would rather wait with me than go to the yard to play with her friends. It doesn't seem like it was all that long ago.
Time passes, things change, Anita's growing up and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I called Nuno immediately and cried my heart out.